211, -0, 27 lbs total

Weigh-in was last night. It was actually 210.5, but I round up the half pounds so I get a big goose egg for the week.

How could that happen? Well, there were a couple things going on. Last Tuesday I started in on the Optifast 800, and the trying to eat more while hiking. I overcompensated for the exercise with acceptable food (meat and salad), and then I cheated with supernachos on Sunday.

Looks like I'm back to my old tricks with the mexican food. It's like crack for me and I go for it when I'm worn out and tired, and I can't say no anymore. It's pathetic, and I'm disappointing myself when I do it. I was really tired on Sunday since I didn't sleep very well Saturday night either. It was a bit windy here at home as well, and it kept me up. When I'm tired I tend to feel really crappy about myself and so I just sort of let the bad feelings roll around in my head until I just don't care anymore. And then afterwards I get to beat myself up about how weak I am. Blar. It's such a horrible vicious circle of self-loathing.

At the end of the day it's just another excuse. In class last week we talked a little bit about what to do about cravings. I have to ask myself what do I really want? What is the food substituting for? Can I find a way to get what I need instead of using food? That can be a hard one.

I want to keep writing about this but I'm getting sleepy and therefore having difficulty making sense so I'm going to come back to this later. I think it's the key to keeping the weight off.

Good Night Moon!