206, -5, 32 lbs total

This Tuesday's weigh-in was much better than last week's.

I should be happy but for some reason I have a huge case of the grumpys this week. OK there is a reason that I just found out this morning. The evil PMS has been rearing it's ugly head. I hate being a prisoner of my hormones. Nothing felt good enough and I wanted to punch things. I even tried using exercise to exorcise my demons, but it didn't really help. And then I felt even stupider for thinking that it would. So, last night I buried my anger in a plate full of nachos. grr.

I'm trying to be gentle with myself about it. I'm already feeling like such an abject idiot that I don't feel like heaping any more shit on my head is going to help. Instead I'm going to do extra stairstepper until I've worked off the extra 1200 calories I consumed last night. It's still punishment, but at least it's constructive. Hopefully I will still manage to lose at least 3 pounds next week. I have two long hikes planned for this weekend.

It's clear that I have a lot to learn about managing my anger and anxiety. It spirals ever downward with each mistake making me feel even more worthless. I need to find ways to let it go and stop the spiral.