181, -2, 60 pounds total

183, -4, 58 pounds total

More or less back where I was three weeks ago. I'm not sure that the cheat week really helped anything. I'm still really wanting to eat and none of my cravings really got satisfied.

The good news is that the Optifast 70 is back. The bad news is that I have like 5 boxes of the Optifast HP that I don't want or need. Oh wells. I guess I'll save it for a rainy day, or the apocalypse or something.

It's been really cold (for San Diego) lately and I am freezing my ass off! I have always had problems with the cold, but this is bad. Brrrrrrr!!!!! And what goes good with cold weather? Hot food! It's harder than ever to not eat something. I made my goal for the week to not cheat, so I'm going to really work at being good.

I've decided that I'm going to try a controlled cheating experiment. Once a month I am going to allow myself a meal. I'm going to plan it and make sure it's mostly protein so I don't go out of ketosis. I'm hoping that if I have that to look forward to I will be able to quiet the little voice inside my head that tells me to go ahead and have something.

When I go off the Optifast every meal is going to be a challenge. I'm a little worried about how I'm going to handle it. There are so many bad habits that I'm not really able to address until I'm actually eating again. Portion control, not cleaning my plate, staying away from junky fast food, not using food for comfort. I guess that is what the maintenance part of the program is for.